And I thought I found the girl of my dreams at concert (mm-mm).Not quite but it was close. Stepped to her like I need a one dance got a Rum and Coke in my hand. Got out of the moshpit and chatted for a bit. Spit game like “Uh, say baby I had to mention that if you were a star you’d be the one I’m searching for. Other girls they, they got attention but I just always feel like they’ re in need of something you got” We chat for a bit and All I see is fireworks, exchange numbers and part ways. But 2 in the morning my mind is on you, 4 in the morning it still hasn’t moved. Text her “Trying to take you out girl, hope you’re not too busy“
Weeks later we continue to go on dates. I got my eyes on you, you’re everything that I see, I want your hot love and emotion endlessly. We get to know each other more and you fancy, huh. you don’t do it for the man, men never notice. You just do it for yourself you’re the fucking coldest. Intelligent too, ooh you’re my sweetheart and look, I really think that nobody does it better I love the way you put it together. Look, I want you to myself, so we make it official because I was fully whipped. Anytime we go anywhere
I’m like I feel like when you move, the time doesn’t and you would have my heart beating double time. You just shut it down girl. Who told the cops where the party was? Why do I feel like I found the one? Damn, I mean you sure know how to paint a town. I tell her Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted, we could do it real big, bigger than you ever done it. I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it ‘Cause she hold me down every time I hit her up You the best I ever had. And then that last week after exams, She just wanna run around the city and make memories that I will always remember and I’d allow her, talk about pussy power
Then summer, away from each other for 3 months and I’d rather be with you, but you are not around but I tell myself I bet if I give all my love then nothing’s gonna tear us apart. Term resumes and we finally see each other. Everything should feel the same but it feels different.Yeah I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone and you just tell me what you down for, anything you down for. I know things have changed, know I used to be around more but you should miss a little when I’m goneI haven’t slept in days and me and my latest girl agreed. Passive aggressive sometimes when we’re texting, I feel the distance. And navigating adult life wasn’t easy for me either to add to that. Feelin’ so distant from everyone I’ve known. To make everybody happy I think I would need a clone. At work, I’m reminded daily of how much I need to improve My competition, it’s beyond offensive. I’m in it for the glory, not the honor mention. Look, fuck all that “Happy to be here” shit . They always tell me: “Nobody’s workin’ as hard as you.” and even though I laugh it off, man, it’s probably true but not recently.I don’t give you the time, you deserve from me. This is something I know, I know, I know. We have a call later when she calls we out about comms, truth is that period was superhectic for me at work and she was on uni holiday. I say I will do better so I decide to make a strong push to try to do more active comms God knows I’m trying for you
God knows I’m trying. Passionate from miles away and active with the things I say
I keep thinking to my self Is this gonna last? The girl or the world? They say someone gotta lose, I thought that I can have it all, do I really got to choose? I remember when my schedule was as flexible as she is. She call and tell me be here before the sun up. I be dressed before we hung up. I try not to think about it too much, too much, too much, too much. We see that weekend and it’s amazing and I think to myself You’re still the one that I adore. Ain’t much out there to have feelings for. In a convo she mentions something that indicates she might see me even less than last time and all the doubts resurface. She sees it in my face and I try to tell her I don’t want to see even less of her. She tells me You got something to say then say that then. These are usually just some thoughts That I would share with myself but I thought “Fuck it”, it’s worth it to share ’em
Takes a left turn and suddenly I’m having the last conversation I wanted to have with her. I’m like Oh, please give me time cause I’m searchin’ for these words to say to you right now. Tension between us just like picket fences. You got issues that I won’t mention for now ’Cause we’re fallin’ apart. Wish I had the courage to say everything I planned to my girlfriend. Tell me that we ‘posed to be together ’til the world end but, I don’t really feel that way about her anymore so I don’t think I want to fight for it the way she wants to. I unfairly tell her to give me some time to think about it. She sends me a text in the morning, She said you’re my everything, I love you through everything, I done did everything to her. She forgave me for everything, this a forever thing. Hate that I treat it like it’s a whatever thing. Trust me girl, this shit is everything to me. She calls me that night and I was going to break it off, but she was going out that night so I didn’t wanna ruin it that was where I fucked up. Doing is one thing, doing it right is a whole different story and I bottled it by staying on the call and trying to duck the question and push it to what I felt was a more convenient time.Talk if you need to, but I can’t stay to hear you. That’s the wrong thing to do Cause you’ll say you love me, and I’ll end up lying and say I love you, too. I eventually make her force it out of my mouth when she asks me do you want to break up. Hardest choice I ever had to make but I told her It’s over, I’ve been doing this wrong, I’ve been here for too long. I’m leaving, I’m leaving, you know I got my reasons. I don’t wanna sit at home, I gotta get where I’m going. I know I’ma be alone, I know I’m out on my own. I do a lot of things hoping I never have to fit in so try to keep up with my progress, it’s like a dead-end so I know as much as she wants to, she can’t help me My girl love me, but fuck it, my heart beats slow and life change for us every single week, It’s good, but I know this ain’t the peak though
And now you hate me, stop pretendin’, stop that frontin’, I can’t take it All, on me, I don’t deserve it but you know how much I wanted to make it. It’s probably better anyhow. I go back toWorking, working, working, working, don’t have no time to lay up, just trying to be somebody ‘Fore you say I need somebody, get all My affairs in order. She said some hurtful things to me and each one was like a dagger to my heart. That was not the ending our love deserved, I contemplated calling her the night after but she hadn’t replied to my text so I took that as a no thanks. She eventually called me back, we had a mature discussion. She asked Uh, when did you get like this? Least you coulda done is gone and give me a warning but even I didn’t see it coming this soon tbh, thought we make Valentine’s at least. We talked for a bit Still findin’ myself, let alone a soulmate, I’m just sayin’. Feel like we one and the same, our relationship changed, that or it never existed. Why are we wasting our relationship on a relationship?
Why are we rushing and forcing it?—this isn’t making sense. I tell her I’m spending time just taking care of me right now cause you’d be tired of taking care of me by now. You always told me It’s a marathon, not a sprint, but I still gotta win the race, yeah and relationships slowin’ me down, they slow down the vision. Guess I’m not in a position to deal with commitment. I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do
And as for you, I think I know you’re the closest I’ve come to love. Girl don’t treat me like a stranger. Said she was gonna unblock me from her FB, gonna give her her space and not refriend her. Don’t know where we stand, I used to hit you ’bout everything Are we still good? Are we still good? But When a good thing goes bad it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the end of a world that you had with one special person.
Next one will be a deeper/funny one