“Photo shoot fresh, looking like wealth. I’m ’bout to call the paparazzi on myself“- Jay-Z
The cool wind whistled through the dark night as I sat at my desk studying for the two exams I had on Wednesday. It was my day of reckoning of my exam season and I had dreaded it since seeing my timetable for the first time. A loud sound of glass shattering breaks my intense concentration. I figure out I should take it as a sign and like a white person in a horror movie I decide to investigate. The sound didn’t feel like it came from our house so I felt relatively safe. Walking down the stairs to the unlit lounge, I confirm my suspicions. No one had broken into our house. Slowly, I open the front door to the house to see what had happened. Shattered glass is sprayed all over the pavement two houses away. As I return to the house, various representatives, like me, from each house had peeked out their windows and come out. Conversations commence between houses across the road and I get the gist. There was a scuffle between two guys in a room on the first floor and they broke the window. The two guys happen to be post grads as well. So much for Cambridge being a bastion of knowledge I guess.
I return to my room to a group message “Wow please how did you guys allow me to forget [insert author’s name]”. At first I think it was about the formal dinner one of the guys was organising for us. Then I realise it was a girl who sent the message. Curious, I open it to see it was a new group. There was a photoshoot going on the next day in the late afternoon. It’s a great idea but I agree because it’s happening a stone’s throw away from where I live and I knew all the guys involved already and she promises it won’t take too long. All the guys on the group talking about how they’d gotten haircuts. Snakes, the lot of them haha. I cannot afford the take a break from revision to get a haircut because the barber’s is a bit far and you have to shampoo your hair after etc. Every minute counts during revision. Remember, my day of double exams is still around the corner.
Now that I’ve called it a night, and I know my trim will be the deadest I decided to consult my fashion expert friend, Google on what to wear so at least I can rescue myself. Smart side of casual and neutral colours are part of the loose dress code. I’ve always hated “smart casual” because it leaves so much room to stunt on/be stunted on. I’m looking for the right balance. Can’t use my fresh ass coat because I already rocked it for my FB profile picture and I don’t want people to think it’s the only coat I have and it was actually way too hot for that (although I sort of hoped nobody would realise from the picture). My other coat, which I could have rocked had one button missing and I followed the rule I always do before I go anywhere I can have a photo taken, “what would mummy say if she saw you wearing that”. That rules out my second jacket. Third one had a broken zipper, which wouldn’t actually matter in the shoot but my mum hates the jacket. She’s told me to throw it away several times. So with what I have left and the help of Google, I settle on an outfit that I think will be “somewhere between psychotic and iconic, somewhere between I want it and I got it”.
Second thoughts still linger in my head the following day. I think everyone is going to stunt with fresh fades and suedes. Mink fur and the likes haha. TMI but I almost miss the photoshoot because I take a dump and the toilet gets blocked lmao we’ve all been there don’t judge me. Luckily we chose (on my request, foresight vision 20/20) a house with 2 toilets, so I stuck a note saying “out of order”, changed into my clothes and left for the photoshoot. I arrive there on time, I am one of the early ones, I think I nailed the dress code, not overdoing it. Takes a while for everyone to arrive. Porters at the college mistook some of the black students for another black student who had his picture in the news the previous day. The whole thing takes about an hour. It was good fun while we were doing it. After the official shoot, we’re taking photos on the grass which has a sign saying “Keep Off The Grass” when a porter spots us so we disband and I go back to revision. The coordinator, Ore tells us the photo will be out by 8pm and we should all like and share it. Was a shame I had left Twitter for exam season, if not I would have shared it as well
To be continued…